Undertow – Flash Fiction

She clutched his jacket. Fingers curled possessively around the fabric, pulling then pushing into his chest. Her earthquake shook him, but he was unmoved. The sympathy in his eyes only teased the ravenous anger until it consumed all rationality.

“You can’t leave me. I love you. Please tell me you love me?” As she tried to breathe, he was reminded of the final breath of the dog he had unintentionally run over. “This can’t be happening. Sam. Please, please, don’t leave me.”

Waterlogged eyes reached out to him. If he didn’t save her she would drown. The slightest shake of his head was all it took to condemn her to death. He was no hero, just a guy who wasn’t in love anymore.

“Beth, I’m sorry.” He grabbed her wrists. Unlatched them from his jacket. His head hung low as he walked out the door.

“I can’t live without you,” she whispered. As salty tears leached into her mouth, she made her way to the kitchen. “I love you, Sam.” Her raspy words were in harmony with the sound of the knife sliding from its block. The grey steel of the blade was cold, hard and comforting. It was time to stop crying. She would be the hero.

Beth departed in Sam’s wake. She would save them both.

24 Comments

Filed under Dionne's Blog, Short stories

24 responses to “Undertow – Flash Fiction

  1. Damn!! Well written Dionne. Certainly reached the emotional peaks in a short amount of space. Can I give it 6 out of 5?

  2. Becky Carr Schrodt

    Excellent! Captured me right away. I have to agree with previous post 6 out of 5. Well done!!

  3. Hi Twitter friend!! Im so happy to have finally checked out your blog!!Very unique! Love it! You have a new follower!! Look forward to your tweets and posts!! Have a great week!

  4. Blimey Dionne,

    You are a very talented writer. Splendiferous Stuff!

    Phil

  5. Well written. How needy is Beth. Maybe a knife in the head is the best thing for Sam. Silly man.

  6. Jerry Soffer

    Switching viewpoints every few sentences was awkward at first, but it quickly set a jarring rhythm that made me hold on tighter. The ambiguity of the final sentence was stunning. Up through ” … Sam’s wake.” I thought I knew how it would end.

  7. Very powerful for such a short piece!

  8. Jerry Soffer

    Saw two of your tweets promoting your books. Do they work? There are services which for a fee, will send out tweets promoting books (eBookBuilders and Kindle Book Promoters are just two I know of). When I see tweets from them, I kist skip over them. What’s your opinion on twitter as a marketing tool?

    • It’s tricky. I think it’s good but you need to engage with others on there. If all you do is send out marketing tweets people won’t pay as much attention, but then again, if someone is in the mood for some book suggestions, they can look at those feeds to get some ideas. If it wasn’t for twitter and the group of writers I’ve met on there, I wouldn’t have sold any books because I wouldn’t have self published. But, to be honest, it’s not like I’ve sold thousands, or even hundreds of books, so it’s not the be all and end all 🙂

  9. Staury

    WOW !!!! i really love when needy people go to the dark side..poor Sam….i hope she give him a quick death

    Staury

  10. michele brown

    Your a wonderful writer.Can’t wait to read more of your works.

  11. Loved it! I hope this makes it into y our next collection. Spine tinglingly beautiful.

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