The other day I was at the shops, or as you American’s say – the mall, and my three year old boy kept running ahead, jumping, hopping and getting in people’s way.  He ignored my repeated, half shouts (caught between demanding a response and being embarrassed) to stop and wait for me.  Then it happened, the inevitable, didn’t listen to your mother moment when it goes wrong – he fell over.  Oh god the screaming, which attracted the looks of many shoppers, those looks that say, “You are an irresponsible parent with no control over your children and what a naughty boy you have,” you know those looks – they’re the ones you get when you least need them.

It got me to thinking – what if we never changed as we got older, what if we always reacted and acted the same as when we were kids?  Can you imagine the shops filled with skipping adults, who fell over and bawled their eyes out?  I would think it could make life easier – when we are disappointed we won’t have to hold back – just cry or tell the person they’re a meanie and you won’t play with them anymore.  When a friend disappoints you it would be easy – just say, “I’m not your friend anymore, you’re a poohead.”

Being the potentially lazy person I am, I quite like the idea of eating and pooing your nappy at the same time – a new slant on multitasking and it saves wasted time on the toilet.  I can also imagine watching a movie late at night, being tired and sticking the thumb in and having a contended suck (no dirty minds please, we are childlike – remember).  When I’m frustrated because things aren’t going right I can burst out crying and no one will think it’s strange.

There would be some problems though.  Who would be there to wipe our bottoms, we would be eternally itchy, and who would clean up the mess and break up the squabbles? Actually, while it sounds funny in theory, maybe it’s not a good idea after all.  I guess I’ll have to watch the kids enjoy their childhood, while I man the responsible post – however I will get mine back when I am an elderly, incontinent, grumpy person.  I will make my kids take me to the shops so I can complain in a loud voice and embarrass them, hell I might even make them change my nappy.  Hmm, maybe getting old won’t be so bad after all.

18 thoughts on “Ah, to be young again…

  1. ha ha love it Dione. Yes they can embarrass us at times and you can never fins a crack big enough to crawl into. But don’t you feel like yelling out to some bystanders and saying what are you staring at? I have it under control. The kids is just being a kid. amoung many other things you would like to say to them.

    1. Hi, yes you are so right! If I was behaving like a child I could go up to them and maybe kick them in the shins lol. Thanks for leaving a comment, much appreciated 🙂

  2. Dionne, I think that sometimes too but we get less cute as we age, and I suspect the chances of being beaten to a pulp grow greater if we behaved that way. I didn’t kill my children when they were young for turning me into a sleepless zombie because they were so adorable. And I often thought, you are lucky you are cute otherwise your chances of reaching adulthood would be limited. Nice post-I think (Its always poo with you isn’t it?)

    1. You have a good point there, but hey, who said I wasn’t cute lol. Yes, I always have to take it to the lowest common denominator – just habit I guess.

  3. LOL Dionne. Yes, the concept of staying young forever sounds lovely. I was born fundamentally lazy too, so can relate to that. Not sure how I’d feel about someone changing my nappy now….. Hmmm…. Great post! Love the innocence of kids:)

    1. Thanks Jane 🙂 I went on our swing today and apart from fearing my weight would send it crashing to the ground and me flying to certain death, I really enjoyed it – a small moment of freedom and youth I hadn’t experienced for a while.

  4. Great post Dionne, something I am sure every adult, especially parents, have thought of many times. I have told my boy several times that when I am older I am going to come and live with him. When I do I am NOT going to clean my room and he will have to change my diaper. He lives in constant fear of me aging LOL.

  5. I have often felt this way, whether dealing with toddlers or (now) teenagers who scream, rage and generally let it all hang out while I feel like doing exactly the same but am required by society to button up and try to behave calmly and suppress my own feelings. You had me cringing with your suggestion of multitasking whilst eating. That is one liberty I can happily live without!

    1. Sorry for the cringeworthy example but I often can’t help myself and go too far. Societal rules have a lot to answer for – if we actually behaved the way we felt sometimes by chucking the odd tantrum, we would probably be off to the psych ward at the local hospital.

  6. I don’t know so much about wearing diapers, but I surely try to still maintain a little bit of my childhood mischief and immaturity. Since I have a 5-yr-old, I have an excuse to be silly and dance like nobody is watching and not really giving a sh*t if someone was anyway. I also cannot stand the childless people who give you ugly looks when your child has a “moment.” I’m a proponent of spreading positivity, but I am allergic to BS. I’ve been known to give the finger to several of these judgmental twits, while at the same time wishing six unruly children on them. Love karma.

    1. Wow, if you’re allergic to BS you must be sneezing all the time, I feel for you. I have a five year old too and I have been known to dance on occasion and it’s kinda fun.

  7. You know I can actually see this…*shakes head* what you do to my imagination! Did you hear in our news about the behavior in the Malls over Christmas? You wouldn’t say adults grow up and behave differently!

    1. He, he, sorry Dee. You have a point there, that’s why I avoid the Boxing Day sales in Sydney – it is notorious for hosting out-of-control morons who would trample you to death if you got between them and the $2 lipstick they have their eye on.

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