Amber gets Clicky with Dionne & Michelle’s Blobs

Our uber awesome guest today was author, Michelle Franco. She has been a long-time Twitter friend of Amber & I and has appeared on Tweep Nation once before. Michelle writes zombie stories and has two books out, her latest is Where Will You Hide. She was very patient while Amber clicked her mouse like there was no tomorrow: I, on the other hand, was ready to send Amber to podcast heaven. She really knows how to push my buttons. Gee, how did I manage to write so many cliches into one blog post? It’s skill I suppose. Join the Tweep Nation podcast for hysterics, hysterectomies and histrionics and occasionally you may hear something intelligent between the swear words.

Tweep Nation – Amber Tells Dionne the Naked Truth

Hey Everyone! This week our wonderful guest, author Michelle Franco, went AWOL. The gorgeous lady thought the podcast was the day after, but never mind, we’re hauling her arse back on next week. In the meantime, to fill the void, Amber told me about her most embarrassing moment ever, in the history of her life, which occurred this week. Marie, our new friend from France read a poem of Ben Ditmars and we find out why you should always follow the instructions on the bottle of Veet men’s hair removal cream. Join the girls who love to laugh.

Author Colin Chadwick Announces Dionne is a Genius & Amber Snorts

It was so cool on the Tweep Nation podcast today because we had fellow Aussie author Colin Chadwick. We chatted about his fantasy series and the first book Soulhunters, his vegetable garden, and my new alcohol habit. Listen to my tiny tantrum when Amber’s clicking drives me bat-shit. Find out what happened when Amber went to the post office. Gear up for some giggles because we are funny (if you haven’t already heard).

What if Twitter Were ‘Real’ Life?

Twitter. I love Twitter but it’s only as good as the people frequenting it. After an automated DM tonight from a person I followed, who hasn’t yet followed me, I decided to vent (although I’m giggling too). Some of the scenarios on Twitter are annoying but would be even worse if it were equated to something that could happen in our physical ‘real’ lives.

The automatic DM came through straight after I followed this person (as they do) and it politely said “nice to meet you, blah, blah, blah” I responded with “Nice to meet you too” but my message was blocked because, of course, they weren’t following me so I couldn’t respond. How stupid. It made me feel like someone ‘special’, maybe a famous actor or singer, had yelled hello at me from across the street and when I went to answer, the minders surrounded me, their beefcake, black-clad arms pushing me away, shutting me down, “No talking to the celebrity. They can talk to you but you can’t talk to them. You’re not special enough. You’re a ‘follower’ they’re the ‘followee’. I would of course say “But, what…?” They would put their hand over my mouth and threaten to take me to the Justin Bieber concert that’s playing down the street, all while the celebrity in question walks away and says hello to the next unsuspecting follower.

The person who follows you. You follow back. They unfollow. This happens because people want to appear to be one of ‘the special ones’ heretofore knows as TSOs. They end up with a ridiculous follower/followee ratio. I weed these people out with justunfollow.com. Yes, I’m petty and I’m watching you; all of you. So don’t act like you’re better than me cause that just gives me the shits. The scenario, if played out in real life, would go something like this: there’s a large group of friends, they all take turns hosting a dinner. TSO turns up to all the dinners and drinks the most, vomits on your carpet, pisses on your toilet seat and goes home. When it’s their turn to host the dinner, a postcard turns up in your letterbox. It’s a photo of TSO, who’s waving from a camel while riding past some pyramid or other. Bastard.

People who aren’t even following you tweet you a “Hello, nice to meet you” with a link to their book attached. WTF? I don’t know you, I don’t give a shit about your book. I want to write this, and I also want to say piss off, but I don’t because I’m too polite. This is like being accosted in the street by someone asking for a donation or wanting to tell me about the end of the world while shoving some colourful brochure up my nose. While the paper is attacking my face like a swarm of moths looking for the nearest light bulb, I’m politely backing away while holding my hand up in a gesture of defeat. I smile and run. That’s what I’m doing to you on Twitter, I’m running away and you know how I said I’ll check out your book? I won’t.

Hmm, the alcohol’s wearing off now so I’d best go. Hmm, justunfollow.com here I come.

Tweep Nation has a Casual Catchup with Susan May

Today for episode 38, Susan May, author, movie and book reviewer extraordinaire, gave us the lowdown on JK Rowling’s new book The Casual Vacancy. We also discussed which movies to see and which to avoid. Amber’s a bit sick so she was unusually quiet until she voiced her objection to doing ‘Days of the Week’—she sure expended some energy then. Susan’s a friendly Aussie who had us laughing, but don’t ever ask her to mind your pets ;). Please join us for the usual laughs and some unusual ones.

Amber & Dionne explore Bellybuttons, Jeebers and Ordainment with Author Donna Cavanagh

Another chukleworthy episode of Tweep Nation. Our guest today is author and journalist, Donna Cavanagh. I’ve actually reviewed her book, Try and Avoid the Speed Bumps, on my website. I loved her book. She’s a funny lady so it’s no surprise that we share the same birthday ;). Topics discussed today include being a reverend, bellybutton displacement, Jesus and his robe and the godawful reality tv show Honey Boo Boo (I’m shuddering as I type this). One last thing—please, if you enjoy our show, vote for us in the Stitcher podcast awards. We are always hoping for more listeners, and we need your help :). Thanks guys, hope you enjoy this week’s show!

Try and Avoid the Speed Bumps but Don’t Avoid This Book

Donna’s the man! Well, maybe not the man, but The Woman. She’s hilarious! While reading this book, I pretty much had a smile on my face the whole time and I laughed out loud, or for you social media whizzes I lol’d. Her take on every-day situations, some of them ridiculous in themselves and just waiting for someone to take the piss (that’s an Australian term for those of you who don’t know—it means to make fun of) was freakin’ hilarious. She covers everything from avoiding speeding tickets to contemplating a career as an animal psychic. There is something here to make everyone laugh. The only thing I could say Donna has not done successfully is avoid those speed bumps, but she sure bounces over them in style.

I gave it 5 big, round… speed bumps.