Hello peeps. Today I’m giving birth to a blog post about Twitter born out of frustration. I know there’s a million of these posts out there, but obviously there aren’t enough because idiots keep being stupid. Yes, I know it’s an idiot’s job to be stupid, but can’t you please be a little less stupid even if it’s only sometimes? You are doing my head in! This morning, one of these idiots who works for none other than Morons Incorporated, tweeted me. How is that offensive, you might ask? I’ll break it down and you can decide for yourselves.

The background on our relationship:

  • I had never met this person before
  • He wasn’t following me
  • I wasn’t following him
  • He has never RT’d me or said hello

What could he possibly tweet me that inspired me to do a blog post? This:

Please help promote my novel: XXX (I don’t want to promote his book) on Amazon Kindle.

Which he had apparently been directly tweeting everyone else non-stop. That’s all this guy tweets, and it’s known as SPAM (in case I haven’t been clear). After receiving my reply — Are you serious? I don’t know you, we don’t follow each other. You need to learn some manners & how to use Twitter #notcool — he actually managed to tweet an original tweet: one of his first ever!  What I need is compassionate and understanding fellow authors who are willing to help eachother. Thanks, anyway.

My heart bleeds for you, it really does. Someone hand me a tissue before I drown in tears.

I had to reply, of course: I help authors who get to know me before they ask for favours. There are ways to do things — not that he will ever get it. I think he’s been working at Morons Incorporated far too long.

It’s been said before, and I’ll say it again: get to know people on Twitter before you ask for favours, or RT them, they may just RT you back. Pretend that it’s like real life and you actually have to be polite to someone and not think the world owes you favours left, right and centre. When you do it as this guy did, you just shit people and then they have to waste time doing blog posts about how much you shit them, and then they report you for spam 🙂 (that smile represents the satisfaction I felt doing that this morning). Ok, I think it’s out of my system. So, if you see anyone on Twitter who is from Morons Incorporated, maybe tell them to visit my blog so they can receive some good advice. They probably won’t take it, but we’ll all feel better that they’ve at least been told.

Well, that’s it for me, I need chocolate. Ciao :).

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