Hello everyone! I’m happy because today I have found my inspiration for another blog entry. I get ideas then discard them because I think ‘no one wants to read about that’, anyway here is something that at least half my readers will want to read, and I guarantee they will be nodding their head and maybe even smiling as they discover the universal ridiculousness of men.
I have to say that I love my husband and I know he will roll his eyes when he sees this, if he even reads it, but some things need to be said, sorry guys. My best friend and I often have conversations that start with voicing our latest frustrations with our men and we always end up laughing – great therapy and much better than running away. Here is my take on men and the silly, silly things they do.
Ok women, you know what I’m talking about.
Number 1 – The man look – this is when he loses something, usually car keys or wallet, and asks if you have seen them. Upon receiving the answer of ‘no’ he turns everything upside down, possibly ranting towards the end of his ‘man look’, whereupon you go to the most logical place, and find it. Is he grateful, yes, but he won’t tell you because he knows what you’re thinking.
Number 2 – Man flu – I don’t mean to say how great we women are, but we are. When we get sick we keep going as best we can because that’s how we are, I even went grocery shopping on the way home from the doctor when I found out I had chicken pox – sorry if I gave it to anyone. If we are confined to bed we do it with as little fuss and impact on the household as possible. When a man gets a cold he sniffles and coughs as loud as possible, just to be sure that everyone knows he is really, really sick. For good measure he also takes his temperature a few times a day and asks the doctor for antibiotics. Sorry guys, but it’s true.
Number 3 – Leaf blowing (insert gardening, working in the garage) at inappropriate times – A particular example is when visitors are coming. Everything needs cleaning, food needs preparing, groceries need buying, but where is he? Blowing leaves off the lawn because he is sure everyone will judge him by the number of leaves that are out of place. I remember the day we moved into our current house, I was 2 weeks from giving birth, had a 20 month old to look after and had gazillions of boxes to unpack. I didn’t even have to look for him; I could hear the leaf blower. When I voiced my displeasure he thought I was being unreasonable.
Number 4 – Home handyman incidents – This must happen to men because women look at something and say, ‘I’ll get a professional in to do this job”. Men think, “I can do that, it’ll be easy”; my husband has the scars to prove it. One incident involved an angle grinder and a wall; let’s just say it was a very close call, we almost didn’t have kids. One day my father got stuck two stories up, on their roof, when the ladder fell down and no one else was at home. I’m sure you all have your own stories.
Number 5 – Makes up stuff to win an argument – Guys like to think they’re logical and capable of having an argument without being irrational because, lets face it, women are soooo irrational, all the time, and especially in an emotional situation such as an argument. I don’t think so. Guys, if you are losing the argument, don’t make it worse by trying to win at all costs and saying crazy things. Women if you are in this situation, stand your ground, they’ll apologise eventually, even if it takes a couple of days. My husband and I had an argument, after he forgot it was mother’s day, his accusation when I got angry, “it’s not all about you, you know.” He did make up for it because he is a sweetie, but why go there in the first place.
Ok, that’s enough man bashing for now. I am going to give you men a right of reply. If someone wants to write a response to this, I’d love to post it, feel free to get in touch with me on twitter @DionneLister. I’m sure we would all love to hear what’s wrong with the fairer sex, we can handle it, can’t we girls, after all, if we can put up with you guys…